The Joy of Drinking

Essential Cocktails: The Manhattan

2011-12-21T17:52:00.001-08:00

Ah, the Manhattan—one of the most classic cocktails and one of Josh's and my favorites.

I have so many great memories of this drink and its lovely, spicy balance of wood and sweet.

It was actually one of the first cocktails that Josh and I learned to make. Cramped into the small dorm room in a college music frat, one of Josh's old buddies opened up his clothes closet to reveal an ad hoc shelf made out of two chairs and a few pieces of plywood, a delicate looking structure that held a sophisticated array of spirits that he had collected from online shopping—and, what's more, a home ice machine.

We were enchanted. With old jazz bubbling out of his stereo system (college music majors—go figure), John twirled a mixing glass in one hand and a jigger in the other—and began to show us how to make a Manhattan. John—a slimly built college senior who was fond of sweaters, cigars, rocking chairs, and classical music—was also a surprising, self-taught bartender. He had scoured all the books available at the time and made careful notes in the recipes' margins, honing each through trial and error. Don Lee, who would later teach me all sorts of cocktail wonders, told me that learning to make cocktails in a vacuum was impossible. For ordinary folks like Josh and me, it certainly was. But John had somehow become a self-made man in his exploration of some of the classics. The bar renaissance might have very well have started in that tiny dorm room.

The second memory that comes to mind is actually a work party in DC. On a cold day in February, a coworker and I decided to go in on a dozen oysters. We paired it with a strong Makers Mark Manhattan with more than its fair share of bitters. Somehow perfect.

Enough of this sentimentalism schmentalism. On to recipes!

The key to a good Manhattan, in Josh and my minds, is water content. A lot of people dump everything into a glass, add a couple of cubes, and give it a single stir (or worse, shake). When they pour it out, it tastes bitter and sour. When you stir the cocktail adequate and let it sit, the water pulls out all of the lovely characteristics of the whiskey. It becomes almost floral. The bitters become Christmas spice, instead of pepper spice, and the Vermouth becomes smooth.

So here is how we like to make a Perfect Manhattan (perfect being both sweet vermouth and dry vermouth, which is what we prefer):

Ingredients

1.5 oz whiskey (I went for Buffalo Trace this time, which is on the sweet side—I'll often reach for a Rye instead, like Rittenhouse or Old Overholt)
.25 oz sweet vermouth
.25 oz dry vermouth
2 dashes angostura bitters
1 dash peychaud's bitters

Directions

1. Build cocktail in mixing glass filled with ice
2. Pour in all ingredients.
3. Stir, stir, stir. Stir. Add more ice. Stir, stir, stir for 30 seconds. (Stir cocktails with no citrus. Shake cocktails with citrus.)
4. Let sit for a bit.
5. Add more ice, if room. Give it a last stir.
6. Strain into coupe glass with julep strainer.

7. Serve up.

Garnish: cherry (Luxardo cherry, if you can afford!)

Enjoy!

Essential Cocktails: The (Tweaked) Aviation

2011-12-12T22:05:00.000-08:00

Josh and I are returning to this abandoned blog to post, among other San Francisco and home adventures, a series about what we consider our essential cocktails—tried-and-true favorite drinks that you can make at home with affordable ingredients.

So when Josh asked for something refreshing this evening, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to kick this thing off and turned right to the Aviation.

The problem? Well, I started to tweak it.

The modern classic version typically calls for four ingredients: gin, maraschino liquer, lemon, and creme de violette (a fragrant purple liquer that indeed tastes like the delicate flower).

Though I had planned to follow the classic recipe, as I built the cocktail in the shaker, I started to recall my typical experience with Aviations—that is, they just taste too sour.

And thus I found my hands deviating from the typical order of things. We ended up with the following:

Ingredients
2 oz of gin (typically, I would use 1.5 oz, but my citrus today was particularly sour. I compensated with more base spirit)
.5 oz lemon
.5 oz Demerara simple syrup (1:1)
.25 oz Luxardo maraschino liquer
1 dash Angostura bitters

Rinse: R&W Creme de Violette

Shaken and poured up in a coup glass.

I was actually pleasantly surprised that adding simple syrup compensated for the tartness I've tasted before, and the ango gave a nice balance—a particularly helpful complement to the Creme de Violette which can be too fragrant and overpowering.

Has anyone else tweaked the Avaiation in a similar fashion?

A harrowing experience

2010-02-27T20:03:00.001-08:00

I got hit by a car while biking yesterday. I'm ok, but I figured I deserved a little treat, so I fixed up a cocktail. I lost my jigger, so I had to free pour, which I'm loathe to do. I used roughly 3 parts barrel aged Rum, one part Dubonnet rouge, one part Luxarado Amaro, some Peychauds and a bit of orange peel. It turned out shockingly well. Feel free to recreate and improve!

Too soon, Gin and Titonic, too soon

2009-12-19T20:30:00.000-08:00

It’s been nearly 100 years since the first Titanic disaster, and barely 10 since the second. The only thing tackier than James Cameron’s $200 million blockbuster are these $5 party stoppers. Recreate your favorite maritime tragedy every time you sip on that sweet, sweet oblivion. What self respecting drunk wouldn’t want three little icebergs and a mini-Titanic floating around in their cocktail, clinking and pinging delightfully against the rim, mimicking the haunting screams of the damned?

Hey everyone, the punch has been spiked! With sadness.

Tasty tailgate cocktails

2009-12-07T21:13:00.000-08:00

How lovely to see the results of Lorraine Thompson's (@writerskitchen) tailgate! Some time back, Josh and I had offered a few suggestions for her son's soccer picnic. It seems she saved the recipes and gave them a shake during a cookout for the Yale-Harvard game.

We are completely flattered to see Lorraine give our drinks a try. Not to mention, this picture is beautiful. I love the bottles and got to thinking about someday getting some of these attractive containers as well.

She tweets:

@noellechun Tailgate picnic at Yale-Harvard game last weekend-DH is Yalie. We served your suggested Mexican Hot Chocolate w brandy. A hit!

Thanks so much, Lorraine! Hope everyone enjoyed.

The joy of drinking photo essays

2009-12-07T21:05:00.000-08:00

No, it's not about imbibing a photo essay. It's a photo essay about imbibing. Check out this rallying photo essay on Slate. There is something so liberating about the good times captured in these pictures. Sure, we should add the grown up, stuffy note about the perils of drunkenness. But, come on: Did you not smile when you saw this picture? :-)

As a side note, we have some serious updating to do. Lots of cool new experiences and experiments. To come!

(To be honest, Guy found this first.)

The Gibson, Washington D.C.

2009-11-27T19:30:00.001-08:00

Noelle and I visited one of D.C.'s speakeasies, "The Gibson," this evening. The outside is exactly what you'd expect; a blank building face with a single (fluorescent, as opposed to the more classic incandescent) light above a windowless door. The atmosphere inside is really rather nice; it reminded me of Bourbon and Branch in SF, only quieter and better music, which was jazz and early Ska, for the most part. The host was far from polite, which is standard for the pseudo-speakeasy, but he did lack the gentlemanliness of the hosts at, say, the Violet Hour.

We were fortunate enough to get bar seats, since we arrived at 6 pm, which is when the Gibson opens. As is my habit, I asked the bartender which drink was her favorite to drink, and which was her favorite to make. The answer was the same, some unremarkable number on the menu, which she described as "sweet." I declined that drink, and opted instead for the Meridian: Tanq 10, Dolin Blanc vermouth, Dolin Dry vermouth, Creme de Violette, rose water, orange bitters. The Meridian, my bartender told me, was invented by Jackie, another bartender at the Gibson.

It was at this point that I began noticing strange things about our bartender. My suspicion was first aroused when she took out a giant ringed stack of index cards and began to flip through them. I heard her whisper to Jackie that "her cheat sheet" was gone. Oh dear. Jackie told her the recipe - coached her along as she made it, in fact - and the bartender did admirably. The drink, I think, is flawed by design. The Creme de Violette and rose water, designed to bring out the floral notes in the Tanq 10, somehow didn't work. The dual vermouths ended up overpowering the drink, rendering it remarkably unsubtle and unremarkable. Noelle's drink was hardly any better, but she can write about that.

Qualifier: I do not blame our bartender for being new. Everyone starts somewhere, and who the hell am I to say, anyway? But I am blaming the Gibson for putting someone on a Friday night shift who doesn't even have the house drinks memorized. That's just bad business. The customers gets sub-par drinks, the bartender feels bad about him or herself, and they can't interact because the bartender is too busy trying not to panic. Bad form, Gibson, train your people better.

Before calling it quits, I wanted to see how Jackie's chops were. The best way to gauge someone is by testing their Old Fashioned, I think. Jackie did not do so well. Firstly, she used Old Overholt rye. An Old Fashioned is a great way to show off a middle quality bourbon, gussy up a low quality bourbon, or wreck a high quality bourbon. Not sure how rye got invited to the party, but whatever. She used what appeared to be a white sugar simple syrup, which, while not bad in principle, fails to bring out any subtler notes in the spirit. Finally, she was so heavy handed with the Fee Brother's "Old Fashioned" bitters that the bitters and the sugar were all I could taste.

The lighting was nice.

What a horrible Veterans Day

2009-11-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

How can we celebrate this patriotic national holiday when Pabst is being put up for sale?

Pabst is nearly cheaper than water, so it's the natural choice for those of us on a tight budget (Yes, that IS a hint to our wealthy readers. Donations are accepted). Noelle and I really enjoy it because it's light on the wallet, light on the stomach, and still tastes good. Most cheap beers leave me feeling like crud after just one, not to mention their wateriness. And at 11 bucks for a case of 24, well, hell, I'm getting tears in my eyes.

God Bless America, and God Bless Pabst! *Salute*

Hipsters get out your tissues.

White Wine vs Your Teeth

2009-10-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

Apparently, even with brushing, white wine wins. Stick with reds, or better yet, gin.

White Wine Bad for Teeth

Don't Be Bitter

2009-10-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

I'm rather envious, one may even say bitter, over of Kyle's trip to participate in the annual Mai Tai competition on Maui.

Part of the "Don't be bitter" giveaway

Something short on orange wines

2009-10-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

Cross post from Holy Kaw on orange wines!

Just trying to keep things fresh, yo.

Bubbles aren't just for cheap thrills

2009-09-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

Apparently, the bubbles in champagne and sparkling wine do more than throw a party in your mouth (to which everyone is invited). Quoth the BBC: "Research shows there are up to 30 times more flavour-enhancing chemicals in the bubbles than in the rest of the drink."

So next time someone offers you champagne in a solo cup at New Years, you can throw it in their face, citing this article. Don't expect an invite for next year, but hey, who wants to go to that kind of party anyway?

Champagne bubbles' flavour fizz

Most Successful Experiment To Date

2009-09-16T01:32:00.000-07:00

Usually recipes of my own creation come out horrendous at first, but this one blew my mind. I give all credit to Noelle for helping me with the proportions:

1.5 oz Rye
.5 oz blackberry cordial
.25 oz simple syrup
.25 oz Amaro

7 drops peychauds
3 drops Fee's Whiskey Barrel Aged bitters
Lime peel garnish, squeeze oils liberally over drink

Last night I made this drink stirred, but I found that as it warmed, the blackberry cordial began to separate a bit. Tonight I shall try shaking. I'm thinking a swizzle stick would work nicely. This drink as a BEAUTIFUL color, and as soon as I get the picture uploaded from Noelle's camera, I'll post it.

The Whiskey Smash

2009-09-11T14:12:00.001-07:00

The Whiskey Smash is the perfect refreshing cocktail. The classic combination of lemon and mint makes a great companion for any hot summer's day or maybe even a picnic.

And actually, a picnic is what our friend Lorraine Thompson (@WritersKitchen) was planning. I suggested a Whiskey Smash, and as luck would have it, Josh had just spent yesterday evening adjusting the proportions.

For most cocktails recipes, we defer to our cocktail hero Toby Maloney. He provides a great YouTube video on how to make his version of a whiskey smash--and with flair! But for some reason, when we replicated the recipe at home, it always came out too sour and a little oily. So, this is how Josh adjusted the Whiskey Smash:

The Whiskey Smash

2 oz Rye (we used Wild Turkey--at least 100 proof is usually great)
1 oz simple syrup (we use a 1:1 ratio)
Quarter of a lemon, cut in half
handful of mint

Muddle the mint and lemon (you can "push" the lemon, instead of pulverizing it). Add the sugar and rye. Fill your shaker with ice. Shake it hard. Strain. Serve over ice.

Enjoy!

Kold-Draft Ice

2009-09-06T02:04:00.001-07:00

Ice is a big deal. Not Vanilla, not T, not Cube - Kold-Draft.

Apologies for the lame introduction. Kold-Draft brings out the worst in me. Worst, as in, driving a sketchy van to the back of a Waikiki hotel to pick up a bucket of the stuff in a trash bag and then drive home with the A/C on full blast. True story. Erik Adkins of Heaven's Dog once told me that if you got a map of Kold-Draft ice machines in San Francisco, you'd have a map of the best cocktail bars.

Kold-Draft ice gets things colder, keeps them colder longer, and won't dilute the taste of your drink. It whips up a nice meringue, too. It's made by shooting water into a super-cold, upside ice try. The water freezes one layer at a time, producing denser, purer ice. That's the gist, for the skinny, go here.

So, what's the point of this post? Is Kold-Draft paying me? No (but, if you're reading, and would like to send me a few bucks, I've got some serious student loan debt). The point is that I got to use some of this, and it makes a huge, huge difference in the drinks I made. The stayed cold until I finished them, dilution was more under my control, and it made a better froth on my drinks. Don't screw around with your ice, people! Use filtered water and cold, cold freezers! The bigger the better, too.

100 Cocktails to Try Before You Die

2009-09-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

Only 100?

Just joking. Anvil Bar and Refuge, a Houston joint, has put together a pretty sweet list. It's fun checking off what you've had before. And I loved being inspired by the drink recipes I've never tried. For instance, I've never had a port flip: Ruby Port, cream, and egg. Or how about a Cocktail a la Louisiane? Rye, benedictine, Italian vermouth, absinthe, and peychauds.

See how you measure up on the list. I've tried 52 of them! I can't figure out if that's good or bad.

Aside from that, it makes me suddenly want to visit Texas...

Religious Cocktails

2009-08-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

Since most of my time is spent studying religion(s), is it any surprise that I try to come up with religiously based cocktails? Forgive me for heavily leaning on the Judeo-Christian tradition, but Buddhism and Hinduism don't love booze so very much. Moreover, since I've recently moved, I've had to abandon my booze collection, so I haven't actually MADE these yet. I think the ideas are interesting, though, and shouldn't be thrown away immediately.

I: Manna from Heaven

Manna was the miraculous food source provided to the Israelites as they wandered through the desert. As you may or may not know (depending on your level of free time and interest), manna had the appearance of white coriander seeds and tasted like honey.

1.5 oz Aalbord Akvavit. Spring for the gold stuff, don't be cheap and by the white stuff, since it's pretty harsh. Akkavit is a Scandinavian spirit; it's name means "Water of Life." This brand specifically is from Denmark. It's basically a neutral spirit flavored with various herbs, in this case, dill and coriander.

.5 oz Barenjager honey liqueur

.5 oz Heavy Cream

Shake well with ice, strain and serve straight up, with an orange garnish. The orange isn't Biblical, just tasty.

II: Milk and Honey

Ok, I know this is a really common theme in cocktails. But, I want to take it in a different, more historical direction. In its Biblical context, Honey likely referred to a date syrup, which would be thick and likely sweet.

1.5 oz Rye whiskey

.5 oz date syrup, sweetened with honey or Barenjager

.5 oz heavy cream

Shake this drink pretty hard with big ice. Pour into a collins glass filled with ice, top with sparkling water

III: The Bitter Herb

A bitter herb is found on a Seder plate, which is the meal eaten at passover. The bitter herb is usually something like horseradish; its bitterness symbolizes the bitterness of slavery.

1 oz Campari
.5 oz Noilly Prat dry vermouth
.5 oz Cynar (or Akvavit?)

Stir with ice, garnish with flamed grapefruit.

Again, haven't made these. If someone is brave enough, let me know how it goes.

The Laphroaig Project

2009-08-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness. Well, while I have been negligent in producing posts (which are just itching to come out), Owen Westman of Bourbon and Branch has been busy being awesome. While I have mixed feelings about Bourbon and Branch, the Prohibition-styled SF speakeasy, this new drink called the Laphroaig Project looks amazing. As the article notes, it's hard to find recipes incorporating Scotch besides, say, a Blood and Sand. For ourselves, whenever we have Laphroaig on hand, we are too busy celebrating its deliciously smooth and smokey peatiness to bring ourselves to adulterate the spirit with any cocktail antics. But Mr. Westman looks like he's onto something.

Here's the recipe (and picture), jacked with gratitude from this fine article.

The Laphroaig Project

• 1 oz Green Chartreuse

• 1 oz lemon juice

• ½ oz Laphroaig Quarter Cask

• ½ oz maraschino

• ¼ oz Yellow Chartreuse

• 2 dashes Fee Brothers Peach Bitters

• Shake all ingredients with ice and strain in to an ice-filled old-fashioned glass. Garnish with lemon zest twist

Looks like a twist on a Last Word! Which is one of my very favorite drinks.

Hope you find this recipe as inspiring as I do. As for me, I've been tinkering more with my Pho-inspired cocktail. Success looks dubious, but if I find any, I will definitely report back.

Heaven's Dog

2009-08-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

With only two weeks left in San Francisco, Noelle and I decided to check out one more bartender on Don Lee's list: "Erik at Slanted Door." Some time ago, we went to the Slanted Door, only to find that Erik had left, and was now doing the cocktail program at Heaven's Dog. We were told the Dog was in Oakland, which neither Noelle nor I were particularly excited about. As we explored other bars in the city and talked to other bartenders about places to go, the Dog was always mentioned. Last week, when Noelle had the bright idea to actually check where it was, we were pleasantly (kind of?) surprised to see that was actually in SOMA, right smack in the middle of the city! So last night, we decided to go.

To be frank, we weren't expecting much, as we've realized most of the people on Don's list are now in management, and thus no longer mixing drinks. The Dog was pretty crowded, but we headed down to the end of the bar, where servers usually congregate and drinks get trayed and shipped off to tables. Usually this bit of real estate is jealously guarded by the wait staff, so when a giant man walked up to us, looking not unlike a bouncer, I got a bit worried. Don't judge a book, I guess; he turned out to be one of nicest guys we've ever met, let alone met at a bar. He asked us what we wanted, gave us some suggestions, and handed our order off to one of the bartenders. We both got items off the menu at first. Both drinks were highly spiritous. That's usually an early indicator of a pretty damn good cocktail program; the higher the proof, the better the recipe.

I went for a Remember the Main: Rye Whisky, Sweet Vermouth, Cherry Brandy, Absinthe, Bitters. This drink comes from Charles H Baker's The Gentleman's Companion, and was excellently crafted, apart from being a just bit too heavy on the absinthe for my taste.

Noelle opted for a Bittered Sling: Armangac, sugar, water, bitters and nutmeg. I'm not sure the origins of this drink, but it is very, very tasty. It warms you all the way down, that's for sure. The nutmeg was a really great addition, though I think nutmeg bitters would be a better addition, since that may be preferable granules of nutmeg in the drink. Otherwise, it was an excellent way to put the armangac through its paces.

In case you're wondering, yes, that's one giant chunk of ice. It's quite clear, even if it doesn't come through in the picture. They use a rather ingenious method of making the ice clear, but it's top secret!

When we got the drinks, the man who took our order came back to ask how they were. After hearing that Noelle - who is all of 90 pounds and, as an tiny Asian girl, probably shouldn't be drinking so much liquor in such a concentrated amount - liked her drink, he admitted that he was a bit worried about recommending such a strong drink to such a small girl. We laughed about it, then we chatted about how cocktail culture is really spreading, and 21 year olds today are drinking much better than he drank at that age. He told us that when he started getting into the scene, there were only a handful of places to go. "I would go to New York and hit a couple of bars, and when I would tell my friends, they had no idea what I was talking about." He gave his card, and o the joy! his name was Erik.

Although he didn't mix for us last night, we asked if we could come back to see him. So, be ready for another post on Monday!

One more note: I absolutely cannot say enough about the customer service at Heaven's Dog. Each bartender had every aspect of their craft down to a T. Gary Regan could have written The Joy of Mixology from watching these guys. They're all pros, they're incredibly nice, and they won't be there too much longer, so GO! Go now!

Lady Clover Fail

2009-07-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

Oh noo! I just realized we forgot the angostura garnish on the Lady Clover last night! Major fail.

Well. Guess we'll just have to make it again. :-p

The Briar Patch and Lady Clover

2009-07-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

There is really no adequate introduction for drinks by master mixologist Toby Maloney. His cocktails have never failed us, whether at his thoroughly delightful bar in Chicago, The Violet Hour, or using his recipes at home.

And, most amazing, Mr. Maloney is a generous man who freely shares his knowledge and recipes online, all in the name of celebrating the craft. I was perusing the thread today and became excited by his instructions on making your own blackberry cordial, especially since it’s berry season. So after work, Josh and I headed to the market around the corner and bought two beautiful boxes of blackberries.

Mr. Maloney’s instructions were as follows:

Take 2 pints of blackberries, and 2 cups of simple, muddle the bejesus out of the berries, and add simple. Stir. Wait a while, stir. Repeat. Repeat until the liquid is very dark. Strain through a chinois. I like to add a dash or two of Angostura. If you think that it will be hanging around for awhile, add a splash of gin.

The instructions were straight-forward enough, and we seemed to survive the making process. But what to mix with it?

So tonight we tried two new recipes by Mr. Maloney, which use blackberry syrup: The Briar Patch and Lady Clover (both featured at one time at TVH).

Here are his instructions (we didn’t have any Plymouth, so we used what we had on hand—Tanqueray).

Lady Clover

2 oz Plymouth

.75 oz House Blackberry Syrup

.75 oz Fresh Lemon Juice

Egg White

7 drops Peychaud’s Bitters

Top: Soda Water

Glass: Collins

Garnish: 5 drops Angostura Bitters

Ice: 3 KD cubes

Combine all, mime shake. Add ice, shake, strain over fresh ice, top with soda, garnish.

Briar Patch

1.5 oz Plymouth Gin

¾ oz Fresh Lemon Juice

½ oz Simple Syrup

¼ oz Home made Blackberry Cordial

Glass: Collins

Garnish: Blackberry and Knotted Pigtail Lemon Twist

Ice: Crushed

Build in shaker. Shake hard 3 times with Kold Draft Ice. Strain into Collins Glass filled with Crushed Ice. The crushed ice will recede. Top with more crushed ice then lace with blackberry cordial.To make the Cordial take one pint of blackberries and muddle in a non reactive container.

Grand success!!! The Lady Clover was especially delicious. The egg white lent a special lightness to the cocktail. It’s smooth, but layered. Lots to entertain your tongue. The Briar Patch was also tasty, but I think our lemon is a bit tart, so it came out slightly sour. Since we made that one first we were able to adjust for the Lady Clover.

Hope you can enjoy these recipes as much as we did!

Bitter Brew

2009-07-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I had the distinct displeasure of sampling Jeppson's Malört. Bearing in mind that I like a lot of drinks others won't touch (Campari, Aalborg, and stout beers to name a few), I will NEVER, EVER let even a drop of this foul wormwood liqueur past my lips again. I found no redeeming qualities. UGH.

Here's a neat article about it: Bitter Brew

Kitchen Concoctions: Gin and Grapefruit Cocktail – Success!

2009-06-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I blogged about the new grapefruit I bought and thought about how I could make a gin cocktail with it. I tried it last night, and it was a great success!

Here is the recipe:

2 oz Tanqueray gin

¾ oz grapefruit juice

½ simple syrup

¼ oz campari

one egg white

Shake hard with large ice and garnish with angostura.

The result was a light and fluffy cocktail, almost creamy because of the egg white. The campari gave it a deeper finish and prevented the simple syrup and grapefruit from overpowering the cocktail. The grapefruit seemed to accentuate the gin without washing it away. I loved the smell of the angostura at the beginning and how it tasted with the last bits of the drink.

Josh liked mine so much that I made one for him, too!

Summer Cocktails

2009-06-20T10:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote about an article by Gary Regan on 10 Essential Cocktails. There's another noteworthy link on that same page: Summer Cocktails. Some great ideas there.

How do you measure up?

2009-06-19T09:55:00.001-07:00

I caught this story via @guykawasaki on 10 Essential Cocktails—an article by the revered Gary Regan, of bitters and book fame, on drinks you must know how to make.

They include:
1. Champagne cocktail
2. Mai Tai
3. Negroni
4. Manhattan
5. Old fashioned
6. Ramos Gin Fizz
7. Aviation
8. Daiquiri
9. Margarita
10. Dry gin martini

I was excited to see that I know how to make 9 out of 10 (I haven’t made a champagne cocktail before). I noticed, however, that my style differs a bit from the recipes Regan listed. Which gave me an idea.

Over the next week, we’ll show you how we do our “Essential Cocktails.” We’ll do the nine we know how to make on this list—minus the daiquiri because I don’t think I have enough experience making that one. We’ll probably throw in a whiskey sour and/or mint julep instead. : -)

Exciting times ahead! Stay tuned.

Note: Gary Regan's book, The Joy of Mixology, is an absolute classic! When I first started learning about how to mix cocktails, the book helped set me on my feet. It teaches about technique, glasses and basic cocktail types. We liked the book so much that it the provided the inspiration for our blog name. Check it out, if you have time.

Note to self: Gin:Grapefruit :: Ham:Eggs

2009-06-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

I bought two gorgeous grapefruits, all dark pink and heavy, from the market for only $1.50. So now I'm thinking of some sort of grapefruit and gin cocktail. My roommates are quite fond of gin slings--they use Bombay, fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice, sweet vermouth (I think), angostura bitters, and soda water.

I think I want to try something simpler. Tanqueray, grapefruit juice, simple syrup (Demerara), and angostura. I could throw in an egg white for texture. A kind of variation on a sour, I suppose.

I also noticed a recipe that calls for gin, grapefruit juice, and maraschino liqueur. Something else to think about...

Does anyone else have favorite grapefruit cocktails?

Queen Park Swizzle

2009-06-17T22:44:00.000-07:00

I came upon a really lovely recipe for a Queen Park Swizzle this evening. The ingredients included lime and mint—great flavors for a summer’s night. Even more enticing: the blogger said he first tried this drink at Milk and Honey, of NYC and London fame!

So I tried it out. Here’s the recipe, via spiritedcocktails.com.

Ingredients:
- 2oz aged white rum 
- 1/2 of a lime 
- 1/2oz simple syrup 
- 2-3 sprigs of mint
- A few dashes of Angostura bitters 
- Club soda 
- Plenty of crushed ice

Instructions:

The technique for this cocktail is a little different than anything we’ve used in the past. There’s no shaking involved, so we’re going to build the entire cocktail right in the glass. Start by squeezing half a lime into the glass. (Some people will choose to drop the shell of the lime in once you’ve squeezed it – your choice.)

Next add the simple syrup, and the leaves of 2-3 sprigs of mint. Finally, add the rum, and fill the glass with crushed ice. The use of crushed ice here versus cubes is important – you want the ice to really mix with the ingredients. Once you’ve added the crushed ice, use a swizzle stick to – yes – swizzle the cocktail. That is, use the swizzle stick to agitate the ingredients along with the ice, which will not only help mix everything, but also chill it (you’ll notice a nice frost form on the outside of the glass within 30-60 seconds.)

A few notable substitutions. I didn’t have any aged white rum laying around, so I used the white Bacardi I had instead. I also used some dark demerara sugar, not white sugar, since I thought it might work with the lime and rum.

Overall, the drink came out quite tasty! It’s light, bubbly, and a bit more spicy (due to the angostura) than similar drinks, such as the mojito and caipirinha.

I did have some initial issues with the layering—sipping from the top, I could only taste the soda water and angostura. So I had to give it a mix before everything came together (although this ruined the beautiful angostura float).

Making it again in the future, I’d like to peel back on the amount of lime. A proper highball glass would also capture the layered aesthetic better. But overall, yummy.

Before closing this entry, I’d like to speak to one aspect of my cocktail tonight. What, Bacardi white rum? Blasphemy, Noelle! Blasphemy! And to you, I say, I am unashamed of using such a common spirit. I don’t think we’ve ever addressed this explicitly in our blog, but Josh and I like to think of our cocktails as the drink for the common man or woman. Our goal is to make well-balanced cocktails that don’t need hoity-toity spirits you’ll have to smuggle in from the Netherlands. We love the craft and the taste and damn right we’ll be tasting the more exotic spirits at the bar—we raise our glasses to you, fancy ingredients and ingenious bartenders! But you won’t find that stuff in our kitchen. Our mission is to make classic cocktails affordably.

By the way, Spirited Cocktails is a delightful blog that seems to focus on serious, classic cocktails. The author, Joshua Hoffman, writes out of New York, which seems to give him some extra cred. ;-) I took the extra step and added the blog to http://spirits.alltop.com, so you can also look for it there. I look forward to trying out many more drinks from this blog.

The Myth of Drinking?

2009-06-08T11:57:00.000-07:00

The Myth of Drinking? This brief article is probably a good thing to read, if only to help you keep in mind that alcohol is potentially dangerous, even if imbibed in moderation.

On a completely unrelated and even antithetical note, look forward to more posts in the near future. The very next post will laud that wonderful bit of classic intoxicology, the Sazerac, along with the Rye brand of the same name.

The Classic Caipirinha and the Caipirinha De Uva

2009-05-02T17:54:00.000-07:00

We made a lovely bunch of cold afternoon drinks today: The Classic Caipirinha and the Caipirinha De Uva.

Just this afternoon, after all, we had picked up a bottle of Cachaca, a type of rum from Brazil. We were looking for something affordable that would also make some solid cocktails. The store employee pointed us toward this bottle: Prassununga Cachaca 51.

He said that it’s the standard label in Brazil, and that many of his customers come in and say they buy the exact same thing when they’re in South America. And at $17, it wasn’t terribly expensive—although when the employee told me that you can usually get it for $9 in its home country, I felt less smug. Ha!

So we mixed up two drinks, using Dale Degroff’s recipes:

CLASSIC CAIPIRINHA

1/2 lime, quartered
3/4 oz. brown sugar syrup or 1 teaspoon brown sugar (we used Trader Joe’s turbindino, which worked great. Demarara sugar is also highly recommended)
2 oz. cachaca (or if you can't find any, use a really good rum)

Chill a rocks glass with cracked ice. Place the lime quarters in the bottom of a mixing glass, add the syrup, and muddle, extracting the juice and the oil in the skin from the lime quarters. Add the cachaca to the mixture in the mixing glass, dump the ice from the rocks glass into the mixing glass, and shake well. Pour the entire contents of the mixing glass back into the chilled rocks glass (yes, this is one of the few drinks that retain the ice used while shaking the drink) and serve.

Note: If you use rum for a caipirinha, it's suddenly a caipirissima.

CAIPIRINHA DE UVA (my favorite of the two)

1/2 lime, quartered
4 seedless red grapes
3/4 oz. brown sugar syrup (see recipe below), or 1 teaspoon brown sugar
2 oz. cachaca (or if you can't find any, use a really good rum)

Chill a rocks glass with cracked ice. Place the lime quarters and grapes in the bottom of a mixing glass, add the syrup, and muddle, extracting the juice and the oil in the skin from the lime quarters. Add the cachaca to the mixture in the mixing glass, dump the ice from the rocks glass into the mixing glass, and shake well. Pour the entire contents of the mixing glass back into the chilled rocks glass (again, one of the few drinks that call for this) and serve.

Note: If you use rum for this, it's suddenly a -- you guessed it -- caipirissima de uva.

Delicious! Cold, refreshing, fruity, but not too sweet—the perfect afternoon drink.

Enjoy!

(The Caipirinha De Uva)

Jim Beam: Cherry

2009-05-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

WHAT! Cherry flavored Jim Beam? Why was I not informed about this? I'm pumped to try it, as I love Jim Beam more than any normal person should. Look forward to this one, readers, as well as Noelle's newest creation: Black pepper infused Jim Beam.

Jim Beam Red Stag

The Joy of Drinking

2009-04-07T22:34:00.001-07:00

Walking down the hall this evening, work clothes still on, drink in hand, I was suddenly struck by a sense of tradition. How many men had done what I just did? Came home from a long day at work, lovingly fixed themselves a drink, and retired to their study to read, relax, think, or create.

Now, as I sip an ice cold Brandy Old Fashioned, I realize the meaning behind the title of this blog – ironic, since I named it. At the time I thought it cute and succinct; now I realize that it hints to something deeper; that there is much more to drinking. It’s not just a way to lubricate otherwise awkward social situations, as my college friends assumed. Nor is it a way to warm yourself from reality’s biting chill. It can be these things and only these things, but for me, alcohol is inspiration.

A true artist takes things that have little or no beauty of their own and makes them beautiful. Red, on its own, is a wonderful color. So is blue, and so is green. When the right person lets them play around on a canvas together, the outcome is so much more than the sum of the parts. Brandy, on its own, is a deep, sweet and smoky drink. Simple syrup is sweet and grassy. Fee Brother’s orange bitters taste disturbingly similar to an actual orange, and Angostura bitters, own their own, are hardly pleasant at all. Somehow, when I put them together, the result is magic. The ritualistic preparation of the drink, the bartending tools, even the clothing, throws the drinker into timelessness.

Toby Maloney, chief Intoxicologist at the Violet Hour in Chicago, is the example of what I’m trying to convey. His style of dress is classy, dated yet somehow timeless, and clearly says, “I tend bar.” If this picture were in black and white, I would think it was straight from a Prohibition Era speakeasy. Instead, it’s from his modern speakeasy, the Violet Hour, which has the best cocktails – and the best drinking experience – I’ve ever had. What Toby does, and what I strive to do, is not to make something that tastes pleasing, eliminates awkwardness or clouds reality. Crafting, consuming, and serving cocktails is art, and that makes it an unspeakable joy.

Kitchen Concoctions: Rye Cocktail

2009-04-02T23:41:00.000-07:00

Noelle once again proved her cocktail bad-assery tonight, by stopping me from adding Mathilde to a new concoction. I did a minor taste test of the drink in question...ehh... this Mathilde doesn't really mix very well. Each time I try it, I get really excited, and every time I'm disappointed (with one or two minor exceptions).

I somehow realized that I have yet to try rye whiskey and the honey liqueur, Barenjager, together. This struck me as odd, since I've tried Barenjager with just about everything in the liquor cabinet. These are the proportions I used:

1.5oz Rittenhouse Rye (100 proof, which is actually too high a proof for a moderate quality rye)
.5oz Barenjager
Dash of Regan's bitters
Dash of Fee Brother's Whiskey Bitters

Stir stir stir, serve up in a pre-chilled glass. Cut off a bit of lemon peel and squeeze the oils onto the top of the drink. Kiss the lip of the glass with the peel, but don't actually put the lemon peel into the drink, as that would be overpowering.

The result is a shocking success, in my own humble opinion, which was immediately verified by Noelle. This is a good boost to my cocktail confidence, since I haven't made a good drink in months. It's a deep, deep drink. Since the Rittenhouse Rye has such a richness to it and the Barenjager tastes like real honey, the flavor is wonderful! Not to toot my own horn... like I said, this is the first tasty drink in some time.

For the Eloquent Drunk

2009-03-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

Check out this delightful post, “How Drunk Are You? Let Me Count the Ways!” which I found on DailyWritingTips via my MyAlltop account.

It gives 25 brilliant ways to say that you’re inebriated, organized by intensity. The author also serves up a bit of etymology for the phrase “three sheets to the wind.”

Definitely worth a read for any word/drink lover.

Kitchen Concoctions: A Drink for Allergy Season

2009-03-29T16:07:00.000-07:00

‘Tis the season! Stuffy nose, scratchy throat, itchy eyes, throbbing head, swollen sinuses. Yep, allergies have come to the Bay Area!

So I thought we’d try to whip something up, inspired by @foodieguide during the last season (Flu Season).

Here’s your Allergy Drink Recipe:

To boiling water add:
-fresh mint
-fresh lemon juice (feel free to drop both sides of the peel in)
-honey
-angostura bitters (old wives tales narrate angostura’s magical medicinal wonders—this has, of course, never been proved. But I just like the flavor, especially with mint)

The result:
A tangy, hot drink that is rather invigorating for a hay fever sufferer. It definitely soothes my itchy throat and calms my headache.

Possible tweaks:
My only wish is that I didn’t hit the bottom of my honey jar and could have added much more (must make trip to next farmers market). A thicker, sweet consistently would have been nice. One other experiment would be to add orange bitters instead of angostura.

What do you drink when you’re suffering from allergies or colds? I’ve heard hot toddys work wonders!

Epic Julep Variation FAIL

2009-03-22T00:07:00.000-07:00

I was pretty pumped to get some Mathilde raspberry liqueur. If you taste it on its own, it's like drinking a raspberry, no joke. The problem is, it doesn't mix very well. I think the key is to give the drink a hint, just an idea of the liqueur. If you want to give something actual raspberry flavor, well, look elsewhere. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson after attempting to make a raspberry flavored mint julep.

-1/2 oz raspberry liqueur
-2.5 oz Jim Beam (mmmm)
-loads of mint
-Fee's Whiskey Bitters

Now, in my head, this came out AWESOME. In reality, it came out a bit acrid. I ended up adding a bit more Beam and it balanced out. Sadly, I don't think this recipe is usable as it is. It needs some serious changes, but I don't know what. Any suggestions?

Joys of Drinking--on the Cheap

2009-03-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

Hehe it’s funny AND it has to do with cocktails! The New Yorker put out “Cocktail Recipes for the Recession" in its Shouts and Murmurs section. Enjoy!

We're on Alltop!

2009-03-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already noticed, we have joined the happy ranks of drink blogs and resources on Alltop. Yay! Check out some of the other best resources on getting your cocktail on at spirts.alltop.com. There are tons of other interesting topics to browse, too. I know because I put together a fair amount of them for Alltop. :-p (I swear they're still legit, though!)

http://spirits.alltop.com/

Go celebrate with a drink, mates!

The Atlantic Monthly: "Cocktails of the Past"

2009-03-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

Check out this new piece by the Atlantic on one guy's exploration of classic cocktails. It's a rather light inquiry, but I always invite discussions of taste and sentiment. Also, note that he talks about Creme de Violette (Josh blogged about our tasting in the past) and the Aviation, which is one of my favorite drinks.

Find the article here: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/cocktails

Experiment of the Evening

2009-02-10T22:53:00.000-08:00

2oz Brandy
1/2oz Dry Sherry
Angostura Bitters (3 drops)
Peychauds Bitters (3 drops)
Brandied Cherry garnish

Stir with ice until quite cold.

I tasted it at this point, and wasn't terribly impressed. The taste was very try and even more subdued. Not subtle, just subdued.

So, I added 1/4oz Laphroaig for some flavor.

Stir stir stir.

Surprise surprise, that's TOO much flavor. I needed something to round things out.

Insert a few drops of the very fruity Fee Brother's Orange Bitters here.

Surprise surprise again, but this time the good kind of surprise. The bitters actually cut some of the intensely dry flavors. The drink is by no means sweet, and the Laphroaig is still a bit too strong, but otherwise, I think it has some real potential. Thoughts?

Another reason I’m glad I have an orange tree in my front yard.

2009-02-09T20:43:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I posted about a little number I made involving Beefeater Wet, fresh squeezed orange juice, and a maraschino liqueur drizzle. Today, I decided to retry it based on my suggestions.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any Beefeater Wet. Or Luxardo. I did, however, have Tanqueray, so I decided to go for a variation on a gin sour.

Cocktail aficionados will no doubt know that orange juice is far too sweet for the normal proportions (1.5 oz spirit, ¾ oz citrus, ½ oz sugar). I, however, am getting dumber by the day, so I just made it like that. Moreover, I didn’t have any white sugar simple syrup handy, so I used raw sugar, which is a bit deeper and sweet than white sugar. So, the drink came out pretty sweet.
I guess not having the Luxardo maraschino liqueur was a blessing in disguise. But as it stood, the drink was boring and too sweet. If I had any, I’d add Reagan’s Orange Bitters, but I only have Fee Bro’s. Reagan’s is pretty spicy, so it would balance things well. Fee Bro’s, on the other hand, is very fruity, which I didn’t need.
I looked around my liquor cabinet for something to balance this drink out. I wasn’t just looking for taste, either. The brownness of the raw sugar made the orange juice murky, so I needed flavor and color. What has tons of flavor and beautiful color? Campari! This little bitter does it all, I’m telling you. I had a hunch that the flavors would match, so I poured a bit straight in the glass. I intended to have it just as a drizzle, but the more I poured in, the more I decided to add.

See why? It started to layer. It’s quite beautiful, I think. It also happens to taste really freakin’ good. I love Campari, but it is kind of a unique flavor. Come to think of it, this drink is very similar to a bastard child between a Negroni and a Gin Sour...

If I were to make this drink again, I would use white sugar, and slightly less of it, depending on the sweetness of the orange. The sunken Campari is a cool trick, but I dont know how much it helps the drink. It would depend on how much less sweet white sugar makes the cocktail. If it’s palatable, then I’d add just about ¼ of an ounce, to add some neat color. Maybe even just washing the glass would do the trick, as far as flavor is concerned.

The Reality of Drinking Series - Part I: The Morning After

2009-02-03T22:50:00.001-08:00

I’m starting a reality of drinking post series, and I couldn’t think of a better way to start than by fast forwarding to the end….=

So you’ve just woken up from a night of drinking and you don’t feel very well. You may have a hangover! What are the symptoms?

-General detestation of life
-Your mouth tastes like Los Angeles
-Your brain is leading a small uprising inside your skull
-Your stomach wants out, and it doesn’t care how

Google “hangover” and you’ll get about a million websites, most telling you the 100% sure-fire way to cure one, some telling you it’s impossible, and still others telling you it’s God’s just punishment for your sinful behavior. Well, in my opinion, which is obviously worth more than the 10,600,000 Google results, is this: Everyone is different. Here are some of my favorite methods:

I had a friend who swore multivitamins were the key to beating a hangover. “Lots of the vitamins in your body are alcohol soluble, so when you drink, it dissolves those vitamins! You need to replace them!” She was a bit off, but it worked for her. Not so much for me.

My grandma swears by the “hair of the dog” method, to which, I believe, Dale Degraff subscribes. He says that the Ramos Gin Fizz is a good cure, in one of his books, but I’ve never tried that. Something about a gin milkshake in the morning seems a step in the wrong direction.

A member of the rowing team I was on some time ago used to go to the sauna with a liter of Gatorade and sweat it out, no matter how long it took. Personally, I can’t sit in a sauna for more than 20 minutes without seeing stars, so that doesn’t work for me.

And so on. What do I do? Liquid started the problem, so I’m going to let liquid end it. Lots of water, a bit of orange juice (I don’t want too much acid in my stomach, at this point), and a good, strong cup of tea.

But! Not just any tea. Oh my no. It has, has, HAS to be lapsang souchong.

Lapsang is a black tea from China. The leaves are smoked over pine fires, giving the tea a strong campfire smell. When you sip, you get the aroma of smoke but the taste is smooth and easy. On a morning after drinking, though, I like to add a few more leaves to the kettle and give it some real strength. At that point, it’s still smoky and smooth, but there’s a small hint of bitterness, and a deeper, richer flavor. I really, really love this tea.

I kid you not, after a strong, very hot cup or two of this stuff, I feel like a million bucks. Go figure, but it works. Green teas work OK, so if that’s all you have and you wan to try this, go for it. Don’t be afraid of a little bitterness , so put in another half teaspoon of leaves. Or, God forbid you don’t use loose leaf, another bag. But none of our readers would use a tea bag for green tea, right?

Anyhow, for whatever it’s worth, I think the trick with a hangover is to realize two things:

1) You’re in it for the long haul. There’s no general cure. Take an aspirin and wait it out. Rehydrate your body, get whatever food you’re craving, and take a bath.
2) Everyone is different. I know I already said that, but it’s important to remember. There’s no cure for a hangover, but there are things that make you feel a hell of a lot better. Tea is what works for me. Find what works for you and stick with it.

Liqueur Tasting

2009-01-25T16:51:00.000-08:00

Featuring Barenjager and Crème de Violette, with a special appearance by Lammsbrau organic pilsner to cleanse the palette

Barenjager: My first reaction – holy moly, it smells like honey. Not honey flavor, it literally smells like a freshly opened jar of honey. It even tastes like fresh honey, which is amazing. It’s incredibly smooth, and packs a lot of flavor in a little sip. I had it warm, because I didn’t want to wait for it to cool down. I can’t wait to try this liqueur in a drink, I have a feeling it will go really well with whiskey and the sweet bitters Noelle got me for Christmas. Barenjager isn’t called for in many recipes, so it’s not essential to have in your bar. It’s not super expensive, though, so it may be worth having just to toy around with…that’s my plan. The first two items on the agenda: Honeyed Whiskey Sour and a variation on the old fashion.

Lammsbrau: Man, I love pilsners. They are amazing, and this one is awesome. I don’t know that the organic-ness of it makes it worth the extra money, but shit, if you see this beer, give it a try. It would make a good present for those people who are in-you-face-environmentalists.

Crème de Violette: In all fairness, this liqueur isn’t really meant to be enjoyed straight up. You can tell that much from smell alone. However, I think it’s a good idea to get a taste of the liqueur on its own.
It’s a bit like cough syrup; I’ll just say that right now. No pretensions, it tastes medicinal. Once you get past that, though, it’s actually quite good. You can immediately tell that it would be rather tasty in a cocktail. The flavor is neat and clear, floral and a bit fruity. If you’re interested in making good cocktails, then you need to invest in a bottle of this.

Dogfish Head – Palo Santo Marron

2009-01-21T23:03:00.001-08:00

For whatever reason, I love smoky things. Chipotle anything, Lapsang Souchong, a smoked black tea, Laphroaig scotch – anything. At least, I thought I did. Then I met Dogfish Head’s Palo Santo Marron.

Now, I love me some dark beer. Give me an imperial or oatmeal stout over a lager any day. I can sit there and try to unpack those flavors all day. Guinness is generally too weak and flavorless for my tastes. Needless to say, I was expecting a lot from this brown, cask-aged-in-exotic-wood ale. Sadly, I found it to be overwhelming, lacking in subtlety and above all heavy. I feel like I need to drink this ale with a knife, it was that heavy. Somehow, its weight seemed unbalanced. Its flavors were too powerful, and I couldn’t distinguish anything beyond the wood in which it was aged. To top it off, its finish was far, far too strong. Again, I detected no flavors other than the woodiness.

This beer is definitely worth a try, and perhaps a second try. I’ve only had one bottle thus far (which I got for free...I won’t be running to the store to buy more), so I can’t say for certain that I don’t just need another crack at it. If someone has this in their liquor cabinet, try it.

Dear Pearl: I Still Do Like You

2009-01-08T12:50:00.000-08:00

Dear Pearl,

Before I say all this, I have to say that I really do like you. I’ve written about you and your unique list of modern tropical drinks in the past. And I still like your spacious layouts, with three bars and all types of nooks, high tables, tall stools and soft, velvet cushions. Your happy hours are so pleasant—the discount drinks and appetizers, the easy accent lighting. Your staff is even kind and friendly. And, of course, your drinks were a delight, especially your old-fashioned.

But this last occasion something felt off. It all started when I ordered this first drink:

The Cherry Manhattan

Ingredients: Phillips Union cherry whiskey, sweet vermouth, two dashes of bitters, and a splash of cherry herring.

It looked pretty, up in a martini glass, all red and glossy. But it tasted like medicine! More syrupy than fluid. So sweet and no earthy whiskey.

And then I ordered:

Papa Doubles

Ingredients: 10 cane rum, Luxardo maraschino liqueur, rock candy syrup, fresh grapefruit and lime.

Luxardo is one of my favorites, so I splurged and reached for this second drink, supposedly a Cuban daiquiri, according to the menu! But it was too thick, weighed down by muddled grapefruit and lots of syrup. It tasted like concentrated juice.

Alas, perhaps myself is to blame for not sitting at the bar. I do have to say, though, that your food was stupendous. My friend Phil ordered Kobe beef and seared ahi. The tender beef arrived on a tall stack of wide potatoes, fried just right so that they were crunchy on the exterior and fluffy on the inside.

The ahi was so fresh, too, and sauce was just amazing! Not too fishy. Firm and not mushy.

In the end, I still respect you, Pearl. And I do plan to return another happy hour some day. Your environment is just so comfy, and my friend experience was so wonderful. But perhaps I may not order these specific drinks.

Love,

Noelle

A Word on Port

2009-01-03T00:55:00.000-08:00

For that of you who read our laudations of alcohol in certain of its multifarious manifestations, you may wonder why we neglect all things spawned from grapes. To put it simply: It’s too damn complicated and too much has been said about it already.

But...

I have to talk a little bit about Port. I have to tell you, I feel guilty doing it. We’re strictly about cocktails here at the Joy of Drinking. Our offices are filled with swizzle sticks and julep strainers, not merlots and shirazes. I’ll take a glass of scotch over a glass of wine, thank you, and I’ll write about it to boot... See? There I go again, off on another anti-wine rant. It’s not that I don’t like the stuff, it’s just that I’m ignorant, so I keep my mouth shut.

But...

How do I dare talk about Port? Well... How can I justify it? Hmm, what is Port, exactly? Wine fortified with brandy, eh? That’s sort of a mixed drink. In fact, that’s definitely a mixed drink. PERFECT.

Moving right along: Quinta de la Rosa’s “Lote No. 601.” This Ruby Port should run you about 22-25 bucks, and it’s just about worth it. It’s head and shoulders above your average Graham’s Six Grapes, that’s for certain. I recommend this Port, with that caveat that it’s easily accessible, and you can definitely get more bang for your buck elsewhere.

It’s flavors are very, very nice. It’s a perfect drink if you have a sweet tooth, which I have. It’s sweet, but not store-bought-apple-pie-warmed-with-ice-cream-sweet. It’s not a restaurant cocktail, is what I’m saying; it won’t make you cringe. It’s got such a depth to its sweetness that you’ll find yourself savoring it, trying to unpack its flavor. There’s a hint of toffee there, which reminds me of my all time favorite, a Tawny by the name of Old Codger Port (from Australia! I’ll be damned, mate).

I highly suggest, Meredith (assuming you’re still reading this. If not, our readership has dropped to nil), that you invest in a nice bottle of Port. Unfortunately, you get what you pay for. If you can find Quinta de la Rosa, grab it. You can tell your friends you paid three times what you did for it, and they’ll probably believe you. It’s also an excellent introduction into the world of Port.

(I apologize for the lack of moodily lit photos.)

Kitchen Concoctions: A Cocktail for the Holidays

2009-01-01T03:44:00.000-08:00

To me, Tanqeray tastes like Christmas. Somehow the juniper spirit reminds me of crisp December days with my nose to the family room tree and cider mulling on the stove.

So I thought I'd try to make a holiday drink with Tanqeray--my gunggung's (grandfather's) spirit of choice and one of my own favorites. Here's the recipe for what I threw together:

In a mixing glass with cracked and large ice, stir in:

1.5 oz Tanqeray gin
3/4 oz sweet vermouth
1/4 oz maple syrup
dashes Peychaud/orange (preferably Regan's) bitters

Stir for 30 seconds and strain it into a martini glass.

Garnish: flame an orange peel above the glass.

Hope you like it alright. Happy holidays to you!

*Note: You'll see in this picture that I actually didn't use a martini glass. This is because someone else was using the only martini glass I have! :-\

The Empire Tap Room (Part Noelle)

2008-12-09T11:15:00.000-08:00

I’d like to add a little to Josh’s review of the Empire Tap Room. The main problem with the place as a bar is that it’s really not a bar. Despite the name, it’s less a bar and more a restaurant where patrons can find rich food in a fancy pub setting. Tables with white tablecloths take up more of the room than bar seating, and the lights are too bright for ideal pub brooding. On one occasion, I went the Tap Room for lunch and enjoyed a really lovely warm goat cheese salad and polenta (this expedition documented on my food blog). On warm afternoons, you can sit in the courtyard, where there is sunshine, ivy-covered walls, and a fountain.

And if you’d like a beer with your meal, by all means.

Empire Tap Room
Yelp: http://www.yelp.com/biz/empire-tap-room-palo-alto
651 Emerson St
Palo Alto, CA 94301
(650) 321-3030

The Empire Tap Room

2008-12-05T22:09:00.000-08:00

Across the street from the trendy frozen yogurt bar Fraiche sits this even trendier bistro/bar. I’ve been trying to think of a word other than “yuppie” for this place, but so far, I’ve been unable.

Normally, I’m very pro-yuppie atmosphere. I love me some coziness. Oak finishing, softly lamp lit tables, I’ll take it all. But there’s one part of the yuppiness I can’t tolerate (not anymore, at least): Stuffiness. As soon as their goofy, awkward, coke bottle-bottomed bespectacled waiter approached me, I knew. The place was a morgue. It was where white collar, Silicon Valley folk go to die, at least for the night. The rotund bartender managed to disprove my theory that all porky people are jolly. The end; don’t go here.

651 Emerson St
Palo Alto, CA 94301
(650) 321-3030

Lots of beer on tap. $4 for 10oz, $6 for 20oz. No idea how the cocktails are.

A new recipe

2008-11-18T17:48:00.000-08:00

My new abode has a wonky orange tree in the front yard. The oranges were green up until three days ago, when they finally started turning their proper color. So now, when I have a hankering for warm-weather drinks in the winter, I'll have at least one fresh ingredient.

My first experiment was a rather astounding success:

1/2 oz Orange juice
1 1/2 oz Beefeater Wet
1/2 oz simple syrup

Shake these quite well; I used big honkin' ice cubes. Pour into a well chilled cocktail glass, straining thoroughly.

Drizzle some Luxardo maraschino liqueur on top, and add a drop of Angostura, and you'll have the drink I made last night.

Here's how I would change it, were I to make it again:

3/4 oz orange juice, instead of 1/2. Keep 1/2 oz simple, it's already a sweet drink, it just needed to be cut with sugar a bit.

The angostura is optional; honestly, it makes the drink look kind of ugly. Maybe orange bitters would be a need addition to this.

And, were I feeling adventurous, I'd add an egg white.

Panya Bistro + Ichiriki Loft

2008-11-04T01:33:00.000-08:00

You know the weird thing about karaoke is that songs simultaneously have more and less meaning. I can finally understand what some singers are saying when I read the words on the screen.

But karaoke was how the night ended.

The night began by trying the sangria at Panya with my parents.

The drink: Panya Sangria, $5
Taste: If I were to use a simile for the special sangria at Panya, I would say the sangria is like a wine cooler. Does the comparison seem shallow? Well, I guess it fits then. I tried the red wine one (there was also a white wine). It was extremely sweet and also bitter like citrus rind. The bottom of the glass had collected quite a lot of fruit debris.
Ingredients: The waiter said he didn’t know what was in the Panya Sangria.

Happy Hour at Panya will knock a dollar or so off of drinks. The menu is full of exotic-sounding cocktails of simple preparation. A guava martini, for instance, is vodka and guava juice. All specialty “martinis” are $6 and sangria is $5 (regular price martinis are $7.50). All the happy hour food is $5 or less. There are selections of spring rolls, chicken karaage, papaya salad and cold tofu.

Not a place to go out of your way for the drinks, but the atmosphere is fun and the food is moderately priced and tasty.

Then Nicci took me to Ichiriki Loft for my goodbye.

I really enjoyed Ichiricki Loft. There was lots of comfortable seating, the music was pleasant, the staff was super nice, and the low lighting gave a nice ambiance. The drinks aren’t hardcore if you’re trying to line it up to classic mixology, but they’re sure tasty. I’d go again.

Here are the various drinks everyone got (and I tasted hehehe).

Midnight tea: asian tea, lychee liquer, lemon
Taste: It’s a nice girl drink. I think they used real tea in it, so it tasted like green tea leaves. Very sweet.

Lychee martini: vodka, lychee juice, lychees
Taste: I find most lychee martinis too sweet, but this one struck a perfect balance between real lychee flavor and sugar. I think the key was using real lychee juice. There was also no burn in this drink, which was nice.

PP: 151 & watermelon puckers.
Taste: This was actually a shooter Nicci enthusiastically ordered. It’s really smooth. I’d recommend it.
Also, “PP” is not the real name of the shooter, but the actual moniker made everyone uncomfortable, so you can just use your imagination. If you feel uncomfortable, you are probably in the ballpark.

Shiso mojito: twist on the mojito with shochu shiso instead of rum.
Taste: This was OK. I’m not a huge shochu fan. Personally, I think that shochu makes a better substitite for vodka instead of rum. On the bright side, this drink brought out the mint a little lightly. It didn’t taste as sweet.

Then we went off to the karaoke place. Nopes, I wasn’t drunk, but the Norwegian girls next door sure were. One of them talked to me for a long time in the bathroom, and then waved enthusiastically as I left the building. Well, always nice to make friends one way or another.

Thanks, Nicci, Ryan and Will for taking me out! Woo hoo!

Panya Bistro
Ala Moana Center (near Longs, Sears, and Gap)

Ichiriki Loft
510 Piikoi St. - Honolulu

Postscript: I'm really sorry this post is so late! Also, I have been rather absent as of late. Two reasons: 1. Spending hiatus (otherwise known as unemployment). 2. Josh has most of the pictures, and then we don't upload them!

Kitchen Concoctions: Twist on the Bees Knees

2008-11-04T01:06:00.000-08:00

Here's the drink for tonight: a tequila twist on the Bees Knees!

Recipe
1.5 oz Tequilla
1/4 oz Agave Nectar
the juice from half a lemon

Shake!

Very yummy.

The "Thaijito"

2008-10-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

Down near the Tenderloin in San Francisco, there's a Thai place called Ar Roi. At the Ar Roi, there's a drink called the Thaijito. Normally, I would make fun of this drink, but...

IT WAS SO GOOD. I was blown away. The ingredients:

-Lemon Grass
-Brown Sugar
-Lime juice
-SAKE

One of the few cocktails involving Sake that doesn't taste like sugary feet. The lemon grass is subtle, but provides good balance for the sugar and lime. The use FRESH limes, which is the easiest way into my heart. The best part is, the Sake really comes through. I could taste the base liquor in this drink, something most drinks lack entirely.

The food is really good here, so it's totally worth the trip. Even their lemonade is delicious and pretty:

The British Bankers Club, aka The BBC

2008-10-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

This is one of the few bars in Menlo Park that I've been to. The first time I went, I saw sazerac on the menu, so obviously I ordered it. As you can see, the success of this drink was questionable.

Obviously I perched at the bar to observe the bartender. He did the following things wrong:

1) Forgot to add sugar
2) Shook the drink
3) I don't think he added Peychaud's, but I can't remember
4) Used the wrong glass
5) Added a cherry

Honestly, I'm not that hard to please...

The upside is, he added more sugar when I asked him to. Also, PBR's are $2, and one night a week (yet to be decided) will be $1. Sweet.

The BBC is on the corner of El Camino Real and Santa Cruz

Mexican Hot Chocolate

2008-10-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

If you've never made Mexican hot chocolate at home, you're missing a real treat. It's super easy, so I'll break it down for you real quick. Here's the general recipe:

A few triangles of Abuelita chocolate (should be in the hispanic food/international food section. Or go to any Mexican market)

Some milk

See how easy that is? Start with a triangle or two, and then add more to taste, if you like it creamier.

If you want to be REALLY adventurous, try the same recipe, but with an ounce or so of Amaretto.

If you are bat-shit crazy, you can add about 1/2 an ounce of Grand Marnier to that. Noelle like it, I didn't... I don't really like mixing Grand Marnier with other liqueurs.

A Twist on the Negroni

2008-10-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

Mmmm, cough syrup... The Negroni definitely takes some getting used to. A normal Negroni looks like this:

1 oz Campari
1 oz Gin
1 oz sweet vermouth
Twist of orange

What is Campari? It’s essentially a bitter, and it’s a rough, rough drink for beginning and experienced drinkers alike. Imagine eating ten saltines at once. That’s how dry Campari is. Then add gin...yup, one dry drink, almost medicinal-tasting.

Why bother with Campari? In short, it’s amazing. It has such a depth of flavor and it will add a whole new experience to your palette, it’s really indescribable. It’s like discovering a third hand; imagine how often that would come in handy!

But, you don’t need to jump straight into the deep end to learn to love Campari. Here’s a good recipe for an interesting Negroni variation:

1 oz Campari
1 oz sweet vermouth
1 oz Beefeater Wet
Twist of lemon

If you read that and thought, “wtf is Beefeater Wet?” don’t be alarmed. It’s a pear infused gin. It’s not a terribly common liquor, and somewhat difficult to find. I’m only just getting acquainted with it, and I like what I’ve seen.

This weird, sweet and fruity element in the gin interplays with the Campari and sweet vermouth very, very well. When it hits your tongue, it immediately tastes sweet and syrupy. As you let it roll in your mouth, the sweetness disappears, leaving a dry (less so than normal gin) aftertaste, with those wonderful, incommunicable aromas that Campari brings to the table. This drink is a one-two punch of AWESOME. I highly recommend giving it a try if you want to learn to love Campari.

(Oh..and why lemon instead of orange? I didn’t have any oranges.)

The Name's Joe

2008-09-27T11:05:00.000-07:00

Like most red blooded, slightly yuppie Americans, I have a deep, deep love of Trader Joe’s. It's like Whole Foods' cooler, more fun little brother. Plus, they wear Hawaiian shirts. Nothing says relaxed like a Hawaiian shirt.

The Trader Joe’s brand isn’t too bad, either. For example, this wonderful “Distinqt” Tequila I got just the other day.

Think they’re trying to mimic Patron? Regardless, it’s a damn good Tequila. 100% Agave, 80 proof, and 750ml for about $20. There’s a lot of very bad Tequila out there, folks. Sauza, for example, is awful. I’m sorry to any Suaza fans, but that stuff is shit. Granted, it’s like 15 bucks, but, if you don’t want to gag something down, I’d say shell out the extra five.

Distinqt is almost unbelievably smooth. It’s aroma is full and robust, filling your mouth before it even hits your tongue. Sipping it neat, I really get a sense of the power of this tequila The burn is minimal at first, but obviously it grows as you sip more. When I add a bit of water, I can easily tell that this Tequila is very, very well balanced. After making a margarita [LINK] with it, I can tell you that it mixes very well.

Overall, this is a huge deal. If you don’t want to shell out the kind of money it takes to buy a top shelf Tequila, get this. It will fool most of your friends.

The Grand Marnier Margarita

2008-09-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

Or, as I like to call it, the Grand Marnierita. It flows off the tongue.

The Margarita in the same boat as the Martini and Gin and Tonic, as far as celebrity is concerned. You’d never know it based off of those horrendous, high fructose corn syrupped-to-death monstrosities you get at Mexican restaurants or bars, but the Margarita is a delicious, full and complex drink. There are relatively few ingredients in a Margarita: Tequila, Cointreau (an orange liqueur), and lime juice.

I was in the store today, and I noticed that Grand Marnier (another orange liqueur) is trying to elbow it’s way into Margaritaville more forcefully than ever before. Trying to use its reputation to woo customers, the package said: “Make the perfect Margarita with Grand Marnier.” I’m not one to pass up a challenge, especially with booze.

The Recipe:

1.5 parts Tequila
.5 part Grand Marnier
juice of a small lime

I made two sizes of this drink, the first was 1.5oz Tequila/.5oz GM. The second was 2oz Tequila/.75oz GM.

Please bear in mind that Grand Marnier has an alcohol content that is just as high as your Tequila, in all likelihood. I’d say make the smaller version, unless you really want to feel it.

So, how does the Grand Marnier hold up? Quite simply, it’s great. Tequila is a fantastic liquor, with a lot of flavor. It also has a serious soft spot for orange. I think it would be pretty hard to do a Margarita wrong with any type of orange liqueur. Even generic Triple Sec would do, in a pinch. Unless you have extremely discerning tastes, and simply can’t stand one or the other, I’d say use whichever you have lying around/ is cheapest to buy.

Louder Music = More Alcohol

2008-09-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

A recent study found that when a bar or club environment is more noisy, people drink more alcohol. The research suggests that when people can't socialize, they feel more awkward and drink more.

This seems to explain why so many bar environments are so loud. Ugh. There are so many perfectly good bars with lovely furnishings, tasty drinks and optimal lighting...and then everything gets covered with a blanket of pop.

This all said, I like quieter bars and restaurants.

Pumpkin Ale

2008-09-18T20:34:00.000-07:00

I like it! It actually tastes like pumpkin. ^_^ A good Whole Foods buy.

Pearl + Nobu

2008-09-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of hanging out last week with Derek, one of my favorites. We were going out one last time before my move to San Francisco--so this was a special occasion. What’s better to add to good conversation and good food? Well, I guess throw in some good drinks. And all three didn’t fail us.

Pearl’s Cocktail menu is devised by Francesco, the Las Vegas mixologist mentioned in the Lewers post. He seems to be putting his mark on Honolulu. He’s created menus for at least three Hawaii bars: the Halekulani (both House without a Key and Lewers Lounge), Rumfire, and also Pearl.

At night, the place turns into a dance club, but before that, it's actually a very pleasant place to sit and eat. There are several bars at which you can sit and also sprawled tables for bigger parties.

The only thing that bothered me about Pearl was that the uniform for female bartenders was this super low-cut vest that hardly covered anything; the whole back was exposed. Call me old-school (or I guess progressive, depending on who you are), but I think female bartenders should be able to get more respect. The guys didn't have to walk around shirtless or in speedos.

Derek and I made Happy Hour (which lasts until 8!), so our first round of specialty cocktails were a bit cheaper. We also chose three dishes off the happy hour menu: the calamari, the Kobe burger and the pork loin. Each were about $8.

My favorite was the calamari because it had three dipping sauces: spicy marinara, mayonnaise, and teriyaki (the one I liked best!). The pork loin was also tender and rich. It came with a great side of potatoes cooked with onions.

Anyway, sorry sorry, on to the DRINKS.

Drink 1: Ginger’s Sexy Secret

Ingredients: Corzo silver tequila, Cointreau, fresh ginger, cranberry juice.
Taste: Like many of Francesco’s drinks, Sexy Secret was fruity and sweet. The cranberry juice came out strongest of all, which is probably why it reminded me of a tequila-based Cosmo. The ginger was subtle, and I wish it showed up with a more distinct punch. Overall, very drinkable, though it lacked much complexity.

Derek’s Drink 1: Lilikoi Dream

Ingredients: Grand marnier, barsol Peruvian pisco, passion fruit, fresh govinda’s juice. Topped with crème de noya and nutmeg.
Taste: “Wow, that’s a cocktail,” was Derek’s first remark. The pisco was strong. I took a sip, too, and thought it tasted a lot like POG (that's passion orange guava juice, for you non-Hawaii people). The crème de nova and nutmeg made great garnishes. I could smell the spices as I brought my nose to the glass, and it tasted spicy. YUM.

After Pearl, Derek and I tried to go to Lewers one last time before I left Hawaii to go live on the Mainland. I especially wanted to say good bye to the bartender Tim. Alas, we arrived at the Halekulani and the whole front was boarded up! We entered the hotel through a side door, but when we got to the Lounge it was CLOSED. Boarded up for three to four weeks while they redo the floors. We asked if there were any other bar open in the Halekulani. The hotel guy said no. But we were invited to sit with some other forlorn looking tourists who were nursing drinks in some corner of Orchids restaurant. There was no Tim. And I also recalled a rather nasty encounter with some bed bugs the last time I sat on a padded seat at the Halekulani (You know you’re in trouble when your dermatologist says, “EW.”).

So instead, we went across the street to Nobu, as I had just been telling Derek how much I loved its drinks.

Nobu is mostly known as a Japanese fine dining experience. I hear the food is delicious but that a date there would leave you out hundreds of dollars.

But a section of the restaurant is also devoted to an extremely pleasant bar and lounge area. The lighting is low with candles on each table. There’s one long bar, or you can sit in stylish clusters inside or outside. They play trendy music in the background softly enough so you can talk.

The staff is exceptionally nice. On one occasion previous to that night, the bartender let us try some fried garlic peppers. He said only one in 20 was spicy. And when I hit the jackpot and almost cried, they gave me a lychee to suck on and then all the water I could ask for.

They’re also super experienced. I’ve talked to two bartenders there, and both of them had years behind them mixing drinks at all sorts of venues. Their drinks are among my favorite in all Hawaii because their recipes capitalize on the alcohol’s flavor instead of trying to mask it. To be warned, though, at $14 a glass, the drinks are also expensive. I’ve never had a more pricey drink in Hawaii.

Ben the bartender is great, though. He works most nights during the week, as well as some weekends. He worked for a few years at the Shorebird before coming over to Nobu. The owner asked him to enter the upcoming annual Grand Marnier contest. We’ll have to root for him.

Honolulu magazine once called Nobu's the place with the best cocktails. I was initially suspicious, but in the end, I have to whole-heartedly agree.

My drink: Nash-tini

Ingredients: Pear infused gin (beefeater wet), poire williams, and fresh yuzu juice
Bar notes: I asked the bartender, Ben, whether he liked the drink. He said he did, but it’s the strongest drink on the menu because it’s mostly alcohol. They don’t infuse the gin themselves, but use Beefeater Wet—I had never heard of it before, but I was willing to try it. I also learned the Poire Williams is a type of pear liquer and yuzu is a Japanese citrus. At the bottom of the cup was some kind of sweet yuzu gelatin. Yup. You can see how the drink came out frosty and clear—just how I like my martinis.
Taste: Oh, for the win. Beefeater Wet is a wonderful gin. And since gin is basically a juniper-flavored (citrus) flavored spirit, it went perfectly with the yuzu. The taste of gin was bold and round. The Nash-tini is a true cocktail in my book. Also, a lot of people generally define a martini as anything poured into a martini glass. But I appreciated that this recipe was a true spin on the classic martini. Gin-based, as always, and poire williams instead of vermouth.

Derek’s drink: Pisco Sour

Ingredients: Pisco, lemon juice, simple syrup, drops of angostura
Bar notes: Yup, this was Derek’s second pisco sour of the night. He had one just before at Pearl. We thought it was a perfect time for direct comparison.
Taste: A completely different drink from the pisco sour from Pearl! While Pearl’s was punchy with the fruit and sugar, the Nobu’s version was less sweet and more balanced. The pisco created a beautiful froth from the shaking, and Ben added a few drops of angostura. So, as you pulled the drink up to your mouth, you could smell the licorice hints of angostura as the sweeter notes hit your tongue.

An Old Fashioned Round Up

OK, so I saved this for last. We tried three old fashions made by three different bartenders over the course of the night. Here’s what we got:

Old Fashioned 1: Pearl

Ingredients: muddle cherry, muddled orange, simple syrup, club soda, angostura bitters.
Bar notes: The bartender seemed pleasantly surprised when we ordered the drink and said it had been asked for only two or three times during his years as a bartender—and that night counted as one of the times.

Old Fashioned 2: Pearl, c/o owner Beau Mohr

Ingredients: muddled cherry, muddled orange, simple syrup, 7up, and a dash of angostura.
Bar notes: Legend (in the form of Derek and John Heckathorn) had told of bar owner Beau Mohr’s old fashioned. The last time Derek and John went to Pearl, Mr. Mohr had whipped up something wonderous for them. And, as it happened, the night Derek and I went to Pearl, Mr. Mohr showed up just as we were ordering our second round. Mr. Mohr scurried over to say hi to Derek, and I got introduced. When I raised my glass at him and told him I was having an old fashioned, he said, “Oh, I’ll make ya an old fashioned.” He went behind the bar and stood over the shoulder of the bartender, leading him through each step. I later asked the bartender about the differences between their two approaches. The bartender said the only differences were Mr. Mohr’s inclusion of 7up and the owner’s approach of stirring, not shaking the drink. Small differences, perhaps, but somehow…
Taste: I preferred Mr. Mohr’s much more. The drink was notably sweeter because of the 7up but more than that, the cherry had a rounder flavor. The angostura was also came in perfectly. I like Mr. Mohr’s drink because I usually like my old fashions old skool style: no soda water, no muddled cherry or orange, just honest sugar muddled into angostura, a jigger of bourbon or rye, and sometimes orange or lemon zest. But Mr. Mohr reminds me how varied this drink can be. Each bartender has her or her own stamp. Mr. Mohr's is delish.

Old fashioned 3: Nobu!

Ingredients: muddle cherry, muddled orange, simple syrup, angostura bitters, Maker’s mark
Bar notes: Derek was so impressed with his first drink that he said he really wanted to try another before we left. He was talking story with the bartender, Ben, and Derek came around to the question, “Do you know how to make an old fashioned?”
“YEAH I do" was the response. Done and done. Ben muddled everything together and then gave it a good shake. He even added an extra cherry garnish when he saw me take out my camera.
Taste: Let the heavens rejoice! This was my favorite old fashioned of the night and my favorite in Hawaii. The taste was deep and complex with bitter accents of the Makers snuggling against the angostura. And no soda. Just how I like it. Ben was actually worried that he made the drink too strong; he tasted it when he was done and then added more simple to the cup. Oh, but it was just right.

A great night in all. What a great send off. Thanks, everyone, especially Derek!

Pearl
Ho'opika Terrace
3rd Level
Ala Moana Center
808.944.8000
Happy hour? Yes.

Nobu
2233 Helumoa Rd.
Honolulu, HI 96815
808.237.6999
Hours:
Sun-Wed 5:30-10
Thurs-Sat 5:30-11
Bar lounge hours: Mon-Sun 5-midnight
Drinks: $14 (oomph)
Happy hour? Yes. Between 5 and 7 get $20 sake flights.

Mainland Mai Tai

2008-09-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

If you made it through my rambling on Hawaiian Mai Tais, you just may enjoy reading about a mai tai I picked up at a local Chinese restaurant.

To any readers in the Ventura County area, this is for you:

Mandarin House: 475 W Channel Islands, Port Hueneme, CA
Hours: I don’t think they close. I’ve been there as late as 10pm. No hours posted that I’ve seen.

Drink prices range from 5-7 bucks. Lunch is cheap, so is dinner. About 7 bucks per plate and 9 bucks per plate respectively. Food is good, some of the best Chinese you’ll get around Ventura County.

Onto the booze!

Bear in mind that Hawaiians don’t really do cocktails, but they do make a Mai Tai that’s damn hard to beat. SoCal Mai Tais (I’d bet a lot of money that this drink is representative of almost every Mai Tai you’re going to get around here) are basically this:

1 part light rum
1 part dark rum
3 parts Hawaiian punch

At least, that’s what it tastes like.

But I didn’t hate it. Shocking. What really helped was the price. $5.50? You can’t get a drink that cheap in the tri-county area. So shit, if you’re in the mood for a drink and you don’t want to make it yourself, I’d say go for it.

Kitchen Concoctions: New Castle Explorations

2008-09-09T02:49:00.000-07:00

I went over to Nicci's house tonight to help her make blueberry muffins for her boyfriend's family. My contribution? Amaretto liquer to add to New Castle Beer!

It was a simple and successful operation. All we had to do was open the bottle, drink the beer until we emptied the neck, and then add a shot of amaretto. The beer foams up and gets all creamy looking.

Actually it tastes creamy, too! It tastes like cream soda, but not as sweet. I suppose a fair comparison would be the Irish bar bomb, just less rich and more smooth. Yum!

Thanks for the suggestion, Nicci!

Lewers Lounge = Nom Nom Nom

2008-09-08T05:23:00.000-07:00

Nevermind that Josh was already belting Shanandoah loud enough for every darkened corner of Lewer’s Lounge before even a sip of alcohol (Nightly gusto quota: filled).

Lest we forget that Lewers Lounge is a place of class. At one of Hawaii’s fanciest, schmaciest five-star hotels, the jazz bar at the Halekulani promises evenings of smooth piano tones, over-stuffed chairs, candlelight and people who don’t wear shorts (note dress code: slacks and collared shirts for men! Evening resort attire for women!).

We’re all for upping our classiness. So Josh and I thought we’d give it a try. We liked it so much that we went there not once, not twice, but three times during the three weeks Josh was in Hawaii.

Why do we like it so much?

1. The drinks are delish!

About four years ago, the Halekulani called on the talents of Dale Degroff, the celebrated father of the cocktail revival, to create a special menu for the upscale hotel. Mr. Degroff delivered with a tasty lineup of drinks that drew on the accessibility of local fresh fruits. Some of these drinks, like the lychee ginger caipirissima, can still be found on the menu today.

Mr. Degroff also pushed the standard of bartending to a new level. He brought the lounge quality ice of crushed and block varieties. He introduced fresh juices—no sour mixes. He entrusted the bartenders with the proper techniques of shaking and stirring. Thanks to Mr. Degroff, our humble island just got a little bigger.

But seasons change. So do cocktail menus. Just this summer, the Halekulani invited a new mixologist, Francesco Lafranconi, a Las Vegas wizard who is actually protégé of Mr. Degroff.

Today it seems the Halekulani has ended its contract with Mr. Degroff. Accordingly, some of his old recipes have been bumped off and now Mr. Degroff shares the spotlight with Mr. Lafranconi.

(Tip of the hat to my wonderful friend Derek—and the Lewers Lounge bartenders--for all of this info.)

Poor timing on my part. I discovered Lewers Lounge only after Mr. Degroff’s reigning days. Derek introduced me to the place in July, while Mr. Lafranconi was guest bartending this summer, making his transition to the permanent menu. Nuts!

I’ve tried some of both men’s drinks. I have to say I prefer Dale’s a bit more—they’re better balanced and not quite so mouth-puckeringly sweet.

Selections from my hit list, over the last five times I've gone (*blush*):

- the old fashioned
Tim, the bartender, makes a pretty mean old fashioned, my favorite in Hawaii. He uses soda water and muddled orange in addition to the maraschino cherry—it’s a popular recipe, but usually not one I prefer. I just like the straight up liquor with simple syrup, a few dashes of angostura, and maybe a muddled cherry, depending on the weather. But Tim does a great job of balancing the flavors just right. The muddled cherry tastes almost floral in the drink and kills some of the whiskey’s burn, leaving the round bourbon flavors in my mouth.

- the amante picante
A Lafranconi creation that includes the spicy notes of tabasco sauce! Cool and unusual.

- the Manhattan
The sole drink I did not enjoy as much as I should have. For some reason it had an awful lot of burn that night. And as a matter of personal preference, I don’t care to much for the bitterness of Maker’s Mark, something I often forget when ordering old fashions and the like.

- Kalihi grapes
Shhhhh. Rico, one of the bartenders, shared this favorite with us. I think it's actually a caipirinha de uva, which I believe is a Degroff creation that is no longer on the menu. It's a great cachaca drink with muddled limes and grapes. It carries a real fruit punch, a real refreshing drink, perfect for summertime. So if you go to Lewers and Rico is working, you gotta order this one. Thanks so much, Rico!!!!

- Lychee ginger caipirissima
I can never say caipirissima right, which is frustrating because it's one of my favorite drinks on the menu. Sister to the caipirinha, the caipirissima has similar drink proportions, only you muddle lychee and ginger instead of grapes and lime. You also use rum instead of cachaca. It's a great drink if you're trying to catch some island flavors.

One of Mr. Lafranconi’s great contributions? Egg white substitute! Mr. Lafranconi likes to add a bit of texture to his sours with a bit of meringue, so now the bar carries some of the powder to use in drinks such as the pisco sour. This also makes it possible for the bartenders to now make Ramos Gin Fizzes—they even have the orange flower water to do it! I have not yet tried this, though, and I do not think it is commonly ordered.

2. The bartenders are awesome!!!

Almost every time I’ve gone to Lewers, I’ve had the pleasure of being served by Tim. I love Tim not only because he makes good drinks. I love Tim because he somehow manages to embody the class of Lewers Lounge while maintaining complete earnestness and humility. When a drink isn’t to his liking, he’s not afraid to say it. He’ll also tell fun stories about what it’s like to bartend and share about the different flavors he’s been experimenting with. He’ll let you smell the different liquors behind the bars to get a sense of the flavors in their pure form. One night I was particularly excited about a new drink I had tried at school. I told him everything that was in an Aviation, and he whipped it up right there! On lucky nights, he’ll give you a taste of his original creations.

Rico is the other cool bartender there that works there. He seems to be the most senior of the bar staff and also the most adventurous. During late afternoons you can find Rico at the nearby House without a Key, and then he transitions over to help Tim during the evenings. Rico showed us the recipe he had submitted to the Grand Marnier contest. It was a fun mix of pineapple juice, crème de menthe and Grand Marnier (of course). Not a cup that’ll knock you out, but it would surely lift some of your woes by means of its carefree, fruity taste and colorful presentation. It was layered with the crème de menthe on the bottom to cleanse your mouth.

We met one other nice bartender there, but apparently he doesn’t know what the drinks taste like because he’s decided not to drink alcohol anymore. Fully support you, brah, but I gotta admit it’s a bit unusual for a bartender.

3. The atmosphere is kind of a big deal

When you hear "lounge" in Hawaii, it usually refers to the Friday night sweat fest that is Wunderlounge at the W.

That is not Lewers Lounge.

The mahogany, plush chairs, and smooth jazz tunes might make you think you smell cigar smoke and hear old bearded men. Actually, I think that’s just the sensation of pleasantness, which is sadly hard to come by at bars in Hawaii (or, really, in any state).

Lewers is the perfect place to relax--and really, what else do you look for in a bar?

Lewers Lounge
The Halekulani Hotel
Open nightly from 7:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. Entertainment runs from 8:30 p.m. to midnight, Sunday through Thursday, and from 8:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. on Friday and Saturday.
Attire: Collared shirts and slacks for gentlemen, evening attire for ladies.
Price: $12-13
Happy hour? No. But you can go outside to House without a Key for a pleasant sunset experience, albeit at very much non-happy hour prices.

Lewer’s Lounge – The Best Bar in Oahu

2008-09-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

Before I even start, let me remind you that Oahu is an island, and a small one at that. So when I say this place is the best bar there, remember that the competition can only be so stiff. Disclaimer done.

Just kidding, one more disclaimer. The people in Hawaii are nice. Not just please-and-thank-you-nice, either. Lobotomy nice is more like it. Try driving there, it’s maddening. People bend over backwards to give each other the right-of-way. And the bartenders are just as nice. As a result, I got many a free drink at Lewer’s lounge, and my memory is accordingly fuzzy. What’s worse, we went three or four times. Ok, disclaimer done for real.

NO. Not done. I’ve only just remembered. Whatever Noelle says is a damn dirty lie. There was no one in that bar but us, the bartenders and servers, and the pianist when I sang Shenandoah. What’s more, the pianist asked me to, thankyouverymuch.

The first night at Lewer’s was... nice. I think I’m going to get just as tired of writing that word as you will of reading it. The atmosphere there is just short of perfect; dim lights, but not too dark. Lovely jazz from the pianist (sometimes there's a duo: Piano and upright bass, with one of them singing), and comfortable seating. Well, I assume the seating is comfortable, we went straight for the bar. Whatever, you get the picture, the atmosphere was nice enough to have me belting out American classics while still sober.

The bartenders are good folk, though they’re lacking in some of the basics of proper mixology, like measuring and ice and water content. I think they all have something of a sweet tooth, too. My first drink was a gin (or was it tequila? Yikes.) and passion fruit concoction. It was darn drinkable, but I don’t know if I would pay $11 for it if the setting weren’t so nice. Nevertheless, a fine drink.

Free drink number one: Unnamed, submitted to the annual Grand Marnier competition, conducted in Oahu

-Lime Juice – ½ oz
-Pineapple Juice 1 oz
-Grand Marnier ½ -1 oz
-Creme de Menthe ¼- ½ oz

I was peering over his shoulder as he made it, so I don’t know how accurate the recipe is, but something tells me it doesn’t matter so much. Shake everything but the Creme de Menthe and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Add the Creme de Menthe; the result should be a pale, lime colored drink with a beautiful dollop of dark green Creme de Menthe on the bottom.

This is a tasty drink, but it’s almost too sweet. To be honest, I wouldn’t buy it. It’s pretty much the definition of a girl drink. Plus, there’s no hard liquor, which means it goes down smooth, but it lacks depth of flavor. There is a very pleasant mint aftertaste, though.

Free drinks two and three were relatively unremarkable. The first was supposed to be some kind of apple shooter, but it didn't taste like apple to me and I didn't see what went into it. The next was a supposedly grape flavored shooter. Noelle loved it, so I'll leave that one to her. I thought it was so-so; it was another of Rico's (the mint flavored disaster's creator) children.

Since we went to Lewer's so many damn times, I was able to do something I can't normally pull off: Try a classic. So I ordered a Sazerac.

I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it. It was a disaster. So, let's start in the past.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of imbibing this classic, let's get up to speed. According to legend, it's the first cocktail...EVER. While that may be an old wive's tale, or unknowable, it's at least one of the first.

Hailing from New Orleans, this drink began as a way to trick people into taking their medicine. Mr. Peychaud (you may recognize that name, since it's plastered on one of the two most important aromatic bitters around) figured out something that Mary Poppin's neglected to mention: Sugar stops working when you grow up. So instead of using sugar, he used brandy, and probably a damn sight more than a teaspoon.

The way I make this drink, credited to John Avery, the Baron of Booze:

- Absinthe wash
-Absinthe is legal now. Enjoy in moderation
-To perform this technique, pour a teaspoon or two of absinthe into a clean old fashioned, preferably chilled. If you have any glasses that are smaller than an old fashioned but larger than a shot glass, use it! Roll the absinthe around until you've coated the entire glass. I was taught to pour the absinthe back into the bottle ("Waste not, want not: There are sober children in China." God bless John Avery). This may seriously contradict alcohol rules, I don't know.

-In a separate glass, chill (with plenty of ice, always use plenty of ice) and stir a mixture of 2 oz Rye Whiskey and 1/4-1/2 oz of simple syrup. Splash in a dash or three of Peychauds bitters. Stir for some time, 30 seconds or more, depending on how strong or weak your pallet is.

Strain the drink into the prepared glass, and be ready to enjoy.

That's what should have happened at Lewer's. Here's what really happened:

-First, the bartender sputtered something about "house recipe," and there may have been a "forgot" in there somewhere.
-Then, out came the Angostura. Enough said.
-I didn't catch this next part, but I can guess: He put in 1/4-1/2 oz of Pernod. I don't know if you like licorice, but I don't.

I smelled this drink before I tasted it. One word. Ugh.

But, oh joy, the bartender noticed me sulking (it only took 30 minutes) and gave me a free drink... a poorly made whiskey smash. Hey, the conversation was good, though.

So please, go to Lewer's. Don't make me beg, it's definitely the best bar in Oahu. The prices are beyond competitive, considering how much you will pay elsewhere for a much worse drink. I gladly dropped 30 bucks there, plus a $15 tip.

House Without a Key

2008-09-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

Nothing at House Without a Key can live up to the view from its patio area. There you have it. If paradise is anything like that, I may find Jesus yet. I think I can put a photo or two up to show you what I’m talking about.

Ah, there we go. See what I mean? The place is gorgeous. The music is surprisingly pleasant, although I admit I have a sick, sick love of nice background music. The performers complimented the surroundings perfectly, and that’s about the best thing I can say.

So, when you go to House Without a Key, be ready to enjoy the view. The cocktails...well, that’s another matter. I had my doubts going in, to say the least. Perhaps my favorite memory from this place is either the horrific bug bites Noelle suffered (providing endless opportunities to poke fun at her, as well as a fun day of hospital visits) or a saucy, old white woman trying to explain to the barely English-speaking waiter what a Rickey was (juice of half a lime, or more if it’s a dry one, 2-3 oz of gin, or, if you prefer/have no taste buds/hate flavor, vodka). Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting much in the cocktail department.

And then I ordered the Mai Tai.

It wasn’t until the next week that I found out that House Without a Key and Lewer’s Lounge shares bartenders and recipes, the only difference is the volume of people (hence Lewer’s Lounge’s quiet atmosphere and incredible service). I also found out that the Mai Tai is the strongest drink on either menu. Judging by how hard that beast hit me, I should have guessed. Hawaiian establishments generally guard their Mai Tai recipes pretty carefully, but I found out that this one had two types of dark rums and lime juice as its base. From what I understand, there isn’t much lime juice. Some simple syrup to balance flavors, and a generous layer of Bacardi 151 floating on top. Come to think of it, that may explain why I so readily sang at the pianist later that night at Lewer’s....

But a strong drink does not necessarily make a good drink! This one sure did, though. The Mai Tai at House Without a Key is exceptionally tasty, and shockingly drinkable for how much hard alcohol there is in it. In cocktail lingo: The drink was perfectly balanced. The presentation, as you saw, was a bit frilly, to say the least. But hell, it’s Hawaii. When in Rome, you know. The sugar cane is a nice touch, because you can chew it afterwards, releasing delicious sugar and a bit of rum that’s soaked in. I'm not sure why I'm making this face, but perhaps I just don't know what my "This-drink-is-awesome!" face looks like...

What shocked me most about the Mai Tai at House Without a Key was its depth of flavor. As the ice melted and I got further down, the drink became more complex, picking up some spicy elements, in addition to a bit more sweetness. The same drink at Lewer’s, though quite good, lacked this quality.

The drinkability is a bit of a problem, though, because of how strong the drink is. The bartender’s at Lewer’s told me, laughingly but seriously, that no one could do three of those drinks and walk out happily. I half wanted to challenge them, but then I came to my senses.

The Hano Hano Room – Where Cocktails go to Die

2008-09-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

The drink I had here looked like someone emptied a neon sign into a glass, and tasted about the same, only with an entire ginger root ground into it. I don’t remember what it was called, and I only vaguely remember the ingredients:

-Mint
-What tasted like artificial mint flavoring
-Blue curaco
-Gin
-A shit ton of ginger
-What I think was Satan’s urine.

Do not try this mix at home. It was awful. I added some water to the drink, and crushed up the mint garnish with my fingers. That made it a bit more palatable, but just enough to choke down. For as much as that drink cost, you’d better believe I was going to finish it.

Go to the Hano Hano room for the view. It is astounding. The glass elevator is cool, too. The creepy old couple dancing in a way that made it clear there was going to be some very serious, very disgusting sex later that night was not so cool.

Order wine.

The Hanohano Room - Go for the Glass Elevator! Or the Radio Show on Saturday Mornings

2008-09-06T02:43:00.000-07:00

How happy we look in this picture. Wide grins, bright eyes.

Funny how faces can be deceptive.

Not that we didn’t enjoy ourselves at Hanohano Room. We got there about 10 p.m. on a weekday and found the highest point in Waikiki is as breathtaking as it sounds. Floor to ceiling windows. A lounge singer that sings mostly jazz with the occasional Shakira interlude (specifically, “Hips Don’t Lie"). A man and a woman tearing up the dance floor with as much ferociousness as suggested by the guy’s thigh-huggingly tight tiger print suit. And the glass elevator that took us to the 30-floor high restaurant was so cool that we went up and down twice (Josh offered a sheepish explanation to the couple that entered on Ride 2, but it turned out they only spoke French).

Yes, I think breathtaking was the right word choice.

But this blog is about drinks so let’s talk about drinks!

The drinks…were terrible. I’d like to consider myself the Paula Abdul of this blog, the voice of compassion, the yin to the yang, the graceful enthusiast in contrast to the crotchety elitist. But there’s no diplomatic way to put this… Both cocktails tasted medicinally syrupy and sweet--actually, hand over the Dimetap and we'd at least stop the runny nose while we're at it. We could barely finish our drinks, which made us especially sad since each glass hit us with $12!

Unfortunately, I don’t think the bar used fresh juices in the drinks, which seemed evident both in taste and color. Josh’s looked like Crayolas gone liquid. Mine was something called the Lilikoi Rita—as the name suggests, an attempt to tweak the margarita. Both were a clash of sugary liquors. Yuck. No balance. No finesse. Maybe on par with the sticky shooter you'd get during last call at the club.

But I don’t want to keep bashing the place. It's not a cocktail lounge, but a hotel restaurant. It never promised exceptional drinks, and so I left feeling unbetrayed (though maybe my pocketbook felt differently). The Hanohano Room did boast about its unparalleled view, and in that respect, it delivered. The atmosphere was great (despite the extra dash of tragedy the other pleasant circumstances added to the cocktail), and we went home with a cute picture and a bottle of Sauza tequila, which we had picked up from the market on the way home. Mmm, a duo of tequilla sours and a few episodes of Frasier, anyone?

Not so bad for a night, not so bad.

The Hanohano Room
at the Sheraton Waikiki
30th floor
2255 Kalakaua Ave.
Honolulu, HI 96815
808.922.4422

Dinner: 5:30pm - 9:00pm
Cocktails: 5:30pm - 11:00pm
Happy hour? No.
Dress code: Yes. No Beach or Athletic Wear, No Logo Tee Shirts, No Baseball Caps.

Wine and Dine at Town... But Maybe Leave Out the Cocktail

2008-09-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

I have to agree with Josh: two drinks we sampled at Town were bland. Josh thoroughly describes the lack of punch in his Gin & Jabong drink (where was the pomelo?). Sadly, I was disappointed as well.

The Kaimuki restaurant is famous for its freshly squeezed lemonade with parsley, mint and honey. So a whiskey smash seemed a good chance to test a signature ingredient. The kitchen uses organic mint from Oahu’s Ma’o Farm, and the bartender pulls fresh springs from outside for garnish.

Unfortunately, I think the bartender might have confused my whiskey smash with a mint julep. The drink obviously contained the mint, Maker’s Mark and sugar, but I couldn’t detect a trace of lemon. But even as a julep, the drink floundered. I could taste more leaf than mint, and every sip left a strong bitter aftertaste.

Lucky for me, well drinks were $4-6, so I saved a few more bucks than Josh. While I probably wouldn’t order a smash at Town again, there is at least one well drink that was worth a fiver.

To the bar’s credit, on one other occasion this summer, I ordered a pretty good old fashioned. The bar didn’t have orange, but that’s how I like it anyway. The muddled cherry and heavy dash of angostura bitters carried the drink just fine, a happy companion to my gnocchi. The kitchen tends to make its food a bit salty, especially with its liberal use of hard, grated cheeses—so the whiskey provided a nice balance.

On the bright side, for what Town lacks in taste, the ambiance can make the experience worthwhile. The restaurant’s clean, well-lit interior is a good place for couples or small parties to enjoy a long night of conversation at manageable prices ($16.50 for my pasta; $16 for Josh’s gnocchi)—just keep the subject matter light because the tables are close enough to sample the neighbors’ food. Josh and I chose a small table outside, so we could watch the dusk die over Waialae Avenue.

As an extra plus, Town regularly showcases local artists—my aunt Karen Lee was one of them in June and July!

Bottom line: Stick with wine or lemonade for a pleasant night at Town. And you can always run across the street to Tamura’s Fine Wine and Liquors to pull a nightcap from the store’s extraordinary selection.

Town
3435 Waialae Ave.
Kaimuki, Hawaii 96816
808.735.5900
Drinks prices: $4-8
Happy hour specials? No.

"Town" - Restaurant of Oddities

2008-09-03T02:36:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Noelle and I went to the American/Italian restaurant called Town. It was an... odd experience. Our waiter was so gay that I couldn't tell if he was just a recent immigrant or really, really flamboyant. The menus were pieces of paper on clipboards, and the outside dining area was alongside a busy thoroughfare. All right, no problem, I can handle all that.

And then I see the drink prices.

Cocktails: $8.83.

Ok. That's cute, I suppose. Kind of campy but still cute. The drink menu at town is experimental, to say the least. The drink I settled on was called "Gin & Jabong."

-Bombay Gin
-Pomelo
-Pink Peppercorn
-Campari
-Soda water

For those of you wondering what pomelo is, you may know it by its other name, jabong... or maybe Chinese grapefruit is easier. I had the (dis)pleasure of trying pomelo with Noelle's aunt. If you haven't had it, imagine grapefruit without the sweetness; it's very bitter.

For those of you wondering why the hell anyone would combine this flavor with campari, join the club. Campari, after all, is a type of bitters. That's why it goes so well with gin. (One of my all time favorite "I'm pissed off and want to drink like it" drinks is two shots of gin served with a generous portion of Angostura)

So, mixing campari and pomelo is overkill. I couldn't taste the pomelo at all, and it served only to add an unpleasant pulp to the top of the drink, thereby making sipping difficult. And I hate drinking from a straw.

The pink peppercorns are the icing on the cake. Why the hell where they there? Did they add any flavor? No. Are they necessary? No. Do they look cool on the menu? You bet. I was taken in, at any rate.

And that leads me back to the price. $8.83 suddenly isn't so cool, is it? Had it been a good drink, I would be more than happy to pay some wacky amount. Now, it's just a nuisance.

The final result of this taste test... If you are in the mood for campari, save yourself the trouble and order an Americano. Or, if you want campari with a fruit that actually adds something, toss in some grapefruit juice.

Yikes

2008-09-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

How was that for a frou-frou introduction? Don't mind Noelle - I'm the real voice of reason on this blog. But I suppose you can't have a yin without a yang, milk without cookies, or a suave white boy without an awkward asian girl. Hopefully our two perspectives will provide a complete view of whatever it is we do here. Noelle will probably tell you a bit more about that.

Welcome!

2008-09-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

Hello out there and welcome to our humble blog! Join us in our exploration of cocktails and cocktail culture. Don't worry, we'll only be pretentious when it's fun, dumb when we don't know anything, curious as much as possible and joyful always. And silly as often as Josh writes. (Tee hee.)

And you, our tragic reader, get to share in the fun. Glasses, everyone? So it begins.